Urgh, meditation. Do I have to?

I struggled for a long time to have a regular meditation practice. I resisted in every way, shape and form. I would prioritise everything else in my life over meditation, in particular exercise. And given the choice between the endorphin rush of moving my tush and sitting quietly with my thoughts, exercise won every time.

It’s taken me years to develop a meditation practice and I often fall off the wagon. So why is it so hard to “get sit done” (as Caitlin Cady phrases it in her book, Heavily Meditated)? 

I think it is way easier to do something than not do something. It feels lazy to sit in our culture which tells us we must always be busy. It’s hard to be alone with the whirling of our monkey minds and much easier to scroll on our phones, watch Netflix, make dinner or really, do anything other than sit and focus our attention on our breath or a mantra.

For me, meditation has been a game changer. It’s a practice I lean on when life gets hectic and difficult. A tool to deal with the stresses of the modern world. 

So where do you start? Well, these ideas helped me to develop my meditation practice and might help you too.

1. Start small. It could be with five minutes a day of guided meditation. At the start the length of the practice isn’t as important as the consistency. Five minutes every day is much better than half an hour one day a week. It’s the cumulative effect.

2. Focus on how it makes you feel for the rest of your day.  Caitlin Cady speaks about this in her book Heavily Meditated and it really was a penny drop moment for me. I was internally bitching and moaning about my monkey mind and how much meditation sucks. When I shifted my awareness to the rest of my day, I noticed how much better my days were when I consistently meditate. Now I really notice when I skip my meditation practice. I wake up with my thoughts racing, I feel overwhelmed and I react to the occurrences of everyday life without grace and ease.

3. Create a meditation space. I created a meditation corner in my bedroom with a soft blanket, meditation cushion, a beeswax candle in a Himalayan salt candle holder, essential oils and my gratitude journal. All of the beautiful things make me want to sit in this space. It is also a daily visual reminder to meditate every time I walk past the space. 

4. Create a ritual for your practice. For me, I set my timer using the Insight Timer app and light a candle to signal the start of practice. I place a drop of Young Living Frankincense essential oil on my palms and take 10 deep breaths. I then settle into my meditation. Once the gong chimes, I write three things in my gratitude journal that I’m grateful for in the past day. Sometimes I pull a tarot or an oracle card. Once my practice is over, I blow out the candle. You don’t have to do all or any of these things but I find these rituals help me to settle into my meditation and bring pleasure to the experience.

5. Start simple. The question of ‘but how?’ really stumped me. I thought that it had to be something complicated and long in order to count as meditation. There are wonderful meditation courses out there as well as a plethora of books and techniques that you can use. I find focusing on my breath going in and out through my nose really works for me. One day I’d like to be given a mantra by a meditation teacher and practice vedic meditation. For now, just start. Don’t let the fact that you don’t have a meditation teacher or a detailed practice stop you from beginning the practice. It’s actually a simple practice that our mind tells us is too tricky. My mind will do anything to avoid meditation. The more days you meditate, the easier it becomes. It’s like anything, once it becomes a habit it’s much easier to stick with it. 

6. Meditate in the morning. If you can, meditate as soon as you wake up. Don’t look at your social media or eat breakfast. All of these other distractions tend to whittle away at your time and before you know it you won’t have time to fit in your meditation. I use the iPhone Screen Time settings to restrict many of my apps so that they aren’t available until 8am. 

7. It’s a holiday for your mind! Instead of thinking of it as a chore and another thing you have to fit into your schedule, think of it as a holiday for your mind. I heard a yoga teacher say this and I love it. Shift the thinking from it’s a hassle and a chore to yippee, a holiday!

8. You need to do the laundry first. You are not going to transcend into a higher realm after five minutes on your first go. It’s something you need to practice and there are so many thoughts in your mind that it is going to take some time to filter through them, sort them and generally get through this ‘laundry stage’. It’s been years and I’m still at this stage. You may not have any great epiphanies. You might be running through all the things you have to do in your day the entire time. That’s totally fine. Just keep going.

What is my meditation practice?

I set my timer for 6 minutes with a 1 minute warm up using Insight Timer. I sit cross legged on my meditation cushion. I try to sit upright but not uptight.

After my ritual of lighting the candle and inhaling frankincense for 10 deep breaths, I close my eyes and focus on the breath moving in and out through my nose. I’m not controlling my breath but focusing my attention on my natural breath. Every time my thoughts drift or I realise I’m not focusing on my breath I bring my attention back to the air going in and out of my nostrils. Once the gong chimes that my 6 minutes is over, I slowly crack open my eyes and then write three things I’m grateful for that have happened in the past day in my gratitude journal. I try not to open my eyes and take a peek at the timer during my meditation but, you know, I’m human.

I used to be really focused on 20 minutes or nothing. However, I found that I was using the fact that I only had 15 minutes until I had to do something as an excuse not to meditate. Now I’m trying to be less rigid in my practice and meditate every day, even if it means 5 minutes. 

Resources that have helped me

Insight Timer, free app with guided meditations, yoga nidra as well as a fantastic timer with different chimes, bells and gongs you can choose. You can save a preset timer so it’s easy to use every day.

Heavily Meditated, Caitlin Cady. A great introduction to meditation in a light-hearted, playful and non-judgemental way. It has different meditation techniques as well as information about how to “get sit done” and a whole lot more. Caitlin Cady is also great on social media. 

First We Make the Beast Beautiful, Sarah Wilson. A beautiful book about all the things Sarah Wilson uses to curb her anxiety. Meditation is one of those tools which she talks about in the book. A great read.

Pure Prana Label meditation cushion. Handmade in the Netherlands. I coveted one of these cushions before finally taking the plunge. It’s fantastic and something I know I’ll have forever.

This post is dedicated to my friend Alastair who is sick of people telling him to meditate. He’s probably rolling his eyes at me as he reads this!